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Articles & Stories
My Obnoxious Thoughts, Morals, Political
Spewings And Other Quirky Things.
When I go out... These are the thoughts that run through my head when it comes to going
out for the evening or if I'm going out of town. Everything is a process...so
here's mine.
Walking: You're joking, right? I don't mind
walking when I'm out and about. If I have to walk to the store across the street, however,
you won't see that happen unless my car is broken down. I will drive one block, or
even half a block to get to my destination. I don't get out too often so I need to
make sure the battery in my car stays charged.
Packing: Is this bag small enough? When I pack I pack small. And boy do I mean small. I don't like to carry and maintain and keep track of a ton of things on a trip that's only lasting two or three days, so I take the absolute minimum amount of things I need.
1. Make-up and jewelry accessories. My makeup case is fairly small
and I take a set of jewelry and accessories that will usually match all of my outfits.
2. My sundries. (hairbrush, toothbrush & paste, deodorant,
perfume)
3. Two changes of clothing and a jacket. Two pairs of shoes, and
maybe two pairs of socks and four pairs of undies.
4. That's it.
What more do I need to bring than that? I'm every mans dream when it comes to travelling. I'm a no-fuss, light traveler.
Getting ready: Has it been 10 minutes yet? When I say I'm ready in ten minutes, dammit for sure I am ready in ten minutes. I can put makeup on 'to the nines' at lightning fast speed. Impressive, isn't it? Just ask my friends who didn't believe me when I told them I'd be ready in ten minutes or less.
Attire: Is this toooooo casual? I'm a casual person. Sometimes I'm so comfy and casual that I don't know how the person I'm going out with is going to be dressed. What I mean is, I'm a sweats kind of girl at home. When I go out by myself, I'm out in sweats. So if I go to a movie in sweats is that too casual? Most friends of mine don't mind. I do try to ask though. (My 'feed the children' look causes way too much staring)
My purse: What the hell is that thing? My purse
is a metal box with a combination lock on it. It will kill someone if they were hit with
my purse with force.
My purse is small. I keep
my cell phone, cigarettes, a lighter, my ID, my keys and a lipstick in there. I also keep
my money in there. Six items plus money in a purse is a pretty small purse. Again, I
travel lightly.
Going to the movies: Is this gonna give me nightmares? When
I see a movie I really get into it. I'm there to have a good time and live in someone
else's world for a while. Because I get deep into movies when I watch them I tend to take
the emotion of the movie home with me. I ponder the meaning of it and how I would handle
things if it were me going through the same situation.
If it's a scary
movie or an action movie, I've been known to get pretty wound up. Nevertheless...I love
seeing movies, and there's nothing like seeing a movie on the big screen these days. Even
with the DVD players and big screens, those are terrific, but the feel is not the same as
it is in the theater. I keep my ticket stub on me at all times. I'm pretty anal-retentive
about everyone having their movie stub on them. At some theaters, if you leave to go
to the restroom in the middle of the movie you have to show your stub if you want to get
back in. I almost learned that the hard way once. So...keep your movie stubs on you
individually, folks.
Clubbing: What do you want to sit down for? When
I go out to a club to go dancing, once you get me on the dance floor you won't get me to
sit down. I'll dance for three hours straight. What's this "dance for ten
minutes and take a break", stuff? Most of these people don't even smoke and they
can't hang. 
My endurance is excellent. Word of warning:
if you ask me to dance, don't ask me to sit down. Also, I don't cling with a group of
people when I'm out clubbing. I like to go my own separate way and adventure into the
wilderness of the crowd. My friend, Doug, is the perfect guy to go clubbing with in that
respect, because he likes to go adventuring too. We meet up later or end up crossing paths
as we're wading through the people. Very cool.
Incidentally, because I work at a club with
loud music three or four days a week, one of the last places I want to go to is to a club
on my day off. Let's get creative here, people. That's not to say I don't like to go to
clubs, because I do. Every once in a while though. If you invite me and I say yes it's
because I want to go. Any other answer is a hint to come up with something different, or
I'll come up with a suggestion or two. I'm pretty flexible.
Driving on long trips: Hubcaps and shopping carts? When I'm on a long driving trip, (by long I mean two-to-three hours) I do two things to
keep myself entertained. I count hubcaps on the side of the highway, as one of those
things. You wouldn't believe how many hubcaps are on the side of the road. It's
amazing!
I also count
shopping carts. In some areas there are tons of shopping carts to count. Turned over ones,
carts stacked on top of each other, people living out of them, kids playing in
them...there are shopping carts all over the place. I bet if you started counting them
you'd be surprised. Not to mention entertained if you're destination requires a
lengthy drive. I can only handle two to three hours in a car at one time. I start to get a
migraine and feel sick. I prefer to fly. Driving is cool, though. I'm not that
spoiled. I can't sleep in the car on a long trip, either. {{{Paranoia}}}.
Flying: Yes I eat the peanuts, can I have more? I can hear it now...the flight attendants coming down the aisle saying "Peanuts?
Peanuts? Peanuts?" I'm wondering at this very moment how many times a
flight attendant says the word 'peanuts' in one week.
When I fly, I
can't sleep. I'm too anxious and too paranoid that someone's going to pick my pocket or
stare at me REALLY close or something. Yes I eat the peanuts. I take advantage of the
complimentary soft drink too. I may even upgrade to an alcoholic beverage, who knows? When
it comes to food and drinks, count me in! Come hell or high water, I will EAT!
I love flying. It's quick
and it's a different experience to be up in the air and check out the clouds and the
stars. Here are a couple of pictures I took of the clouds from my last flight.
Isn't that bitchin'??!!!!!!
As a tourist:
Wait...can I take a picture? I take a few
pictures, mostly of landmarks and whatnot. I don't bog my time down or other people's time
taking pictures. I'm there to have a good time and be in the moment and not be there to
take pictures of everything. The memory of the experience should be far greater
than the picture anyway. My digital camera takes awesome pictures. I'm glad I have
it! I don't mind having my picture taken, in fact I encourage it since the pictures are
going to end up being mine and I don't have many pictures of me these days unless I've
taken them messing around with the camera.
I'm not a real touristy-looking person
either. I feel like I blend in pretty well.
Souvenirs: Where can I find a shot glass? I get
souvenirs two ways; I collect shot glasses from states outside of California. Either from
someone I know that has been there, or from a state that I've been in myself. Not just
limited to the USA, I have shot glasses from outside of the country, too. I ask my
friends who are going out of state or out of the country to bring me a shotglass with the
name of the country or state on it if I don't have it already. My most recent additions
are shotglasses from Scotland, England, and Japan. (A very special thanks to Ron and Walt
for bringing those to me.
) I need to remind
myself to make a list of the countries and states I have in my collection already!
Eating: Feed me! And where's the nearest drive-thru? I've got an active metabolism and I need to be fed pretty often. If I'm going out to
dinner with someone a good sit-down meal is always great since I live on pizza and
drive-thru fast-food all of the time. I don't cook. That topic is covered in another area
on the site. I have a passion for food. I'll eat just about anything! I'm
particularly fond of seafood, steak, and pasta. I love to have a salad on the side too.
Iceberg lettuce doesn't do it for me, so a restaurant that serves salads with mixed greens
is more likely to have a better line of food. That's just my experience. Anyhow, Heaven
must be fed! Bring your offerings of care packages, etc., to my place and let's chow down!
Freak-Magnetism: Say what? Freak magnetism is an
'inside' thing between a few of my friends. My friend, Doug, and I are magnets for being
approached by freaky people. By freaky I mean people who just come up and say something
dumb or feel the need to approach one of us and say something strange.
Doug and I used to make
'bets' on who would be the first to be magnetized, it happened so often. Or we would keep
a running count. Oh, if I could only tell the stories. So I'm a freak magnet. What
attracts strange people to me? I have yet to figure this out. Maybe my
transferrence of energy is too complex for some people and they need to approach to see if
they can figure it out.
I made Doug a magnet for his
refrigerator one year with his picture on it that said Freak Magnet. The actual story of
the original
Freak Magnet himself is located on another
section of this site.
I have an admitted complex about eyebrows. My mother would always mess
with my eyebrows or make comments about them. I couldn't get through a visit with my
parents without my mother mentioning my eyebrows or touching them or something. That's
what I attribute my complex to. Before I go to their place to visit I will probably spend
a good hour making sure my eyebrows are A-1 perfecto. I like my eyebrows, I think they're
cool.
Because of my complex when I see other people I tend to look at their
eyebrows, too. Be forewarned; I'm an eyebrow-checker-outer. I rate super models by how
nice their eyebrows are. When I see magazines at a check-out stand, the first (and
usually) only thing I look at is the model's eyebrows. It's kind of funny when you look at
all the magazine covers and everyone's eyebrows make them look like they are full of
surprise.
What makes a nice eyebrow? Eyebrows should
have a clean, somewhat curvy look to them. Not especially round like Bozo the clown or
Ronald McDonald, and not pointy like Mr. Spock from Star Trek. Those types of eyebrow
shapes are over the top. Some people actually do their eyebrows like that!
The Rock from WWF has a great eyebrow. That's the first thing that
attracted me to The Rock. Between his eyebrow and his persona, The Rock is a great
promoter for eyebrow awareness.
As for Mr. Spock, he couldn't help it, he
was born that way so I don't hold it against him. Bozo is a bozo by default. Vulcan brows
and Bozo brows don't cut it for me. Though they have a personality of their own, I still
prefer a softly rounded brow.
"When you have children, I hope they act just
like you do!"
I was told this in a moment of bitchiness on my part. I'm not particularly
fond of curses like that. Firstly, it sucks to be yelled at. If it was realized that I was
always correct it wouldn't be such a problem.
Alas,
there are people out there who will disagree vehemently. And so much so, that I'm at the
receiving end of a voodoo curse. The problem with the curse above, is that I actually
believe it.
So I decided that I would
not have children so that I don't have to deal with another personality like mine.
Yeesh...when I was a kid I was a shy, quiet, polite little brat. That's the worst possible
kind. Even though I think I would make a great parent, I would much
prefer to not have to undergo the screaming, whining, and complaining. It far outweighs
the benefit of having a kid for me right now. After the voodoo curse was placed on
me, it will be ten times the 'fun' and 'excitement' raising a kid of my own.
Angela was my rabbit that had a little music box in her with the turn key located on
her bum.
Angela went to sleep with me at night and when I had cereal in the morning, I put the
spoon full of milk up to her felt mouth to eat so she had a fairly crusty mouth from that.
My brother's friends were fighting to take her away from me one day and her ear tore
off where I went into a panicked screaming fit. My mom performed surgery on her that night
and restored her ear.
As time passed this turns into the story of the velveteen rabbit, where I got sick and my
parents threw her away without telling me about it. It was on the exact day that the
garbage man came. I went to my bedroom and Angela was gone I asked where she was and my
parents told me what they did. I freaked out, and I was pissed and crying for a week. I
vowed never to sleep with another stuffed animal again!!!!
Two years later I got this stuffed dog that I named Truffles.
He sat on my dresser for a few weeks before I could get over the guilt of wanting to have
it next to me while I slept, remembering my dear Angela rabbit. Anyway, Truffles was fun
and I was finally at peace with the whole Angela rabbit trauma.
When I was 13 I had this white teddy bear that I named "Five". I cried on him
soooo much as a teenager. He got dirty with mascara-laden tears. The look of hope in his
eyes is what connected me to Five the most. When I turned 18 I cried as I took him to the
dry cleaner to get laundered because he was so filthy I was scared he would get torn up or
come out funky looking.
Truffles and Five are currently in storage. When I have a roomier place to live, they, along with my other stuffed animals will be shelved in my bedroom.
Rubber Ducky Fetish/Yellow Birds
This isn't
exactly the best picture of my rubber ducky. This is the little guy who sits in my
bathtub. For some strange reason I have a fetish for fake yellow birds. Rubber ducks,
Tweety Bird and Woodstock all have a special place in my heart. I have absolutely no clue
as to why I like yellow birds. The fact that they are cute isn't enough of a factor for me
to connect their yellowness and their birdy-ness to me to make sense. If that previous
sentence even made sense, good luck. I have this rubber ducky in my bathroom, and also a
larger one that is pictured in another section. I also have rubber ducky Mardi Gras beads
that were a gift to me from when I went to New Orleans.
Tweety Bird is
the actual dominant yellow bird in this house. I have clothes such as blouses, jackets,
sweaters and shirts with Tweety Bird on them. I also have a purse and a backpack with
Tweety on it, as well as my birdcage outside, picture frames, pens and pencils, a cookie
jar, and I have Tweety Bird heads sitting on the top of my tennis shoes for when I lace
them up, and even a bikini, and underwear with Tweety's on them. Obsessed? Probably. The
picture on the left is one of my favorite Tweety pictures. Actually I like this one
because not only is it Tweety Bird, it's a Tweety with an eyebrow-thing going on. (More
about eyebrows in
The Eyebrow Complex)
Woodstock is a quiet fellow. That's
probably why I like Woodstock so much. This bird is smart, and goes about his/her way
without bothering anyone at all. Woodstock is helpful and is a great companion to Snoopy.
There really isn't much to say about Woodstock, he kind of speaks for himself. (That was a
bad pun. I never said I was a comedienne).
Mostly, yellow is a happy color for me. I associate yellow with not only these birds that bring a smile to my face, I associate them with happy faces and sunshine and pretty much anything cheery.
Viva la Rubber Ducky! Viva la Tweety Bird! Viva la Woodstock!
The Three things I Would Grab If My House Was On Fire
The scenario:
The house is burning and nobody, including pets or other family, is in the home. There are sixty seconds available to run in and grab any items without any danger to myself.
The countdown begins:
I assume it will take me approximately 20 seconds each to grab the items I would like which would equal approximately three categories of items.
First, I would yank the tower of my computer from wherever it was sitting so that I could throw it outside to keep all of the things on my hard drive. At this point my life is in my computer. I would grab the backup CD's and toss them outside along with it.
Second, I would grab a box of all of my photo albums and important documents such as my birth certificate, and my passport and whatever else documents are in my box o' goodies.
Third, I would grab my purse with my ATM card, identification, cigarettes, etc. I would grab my cell phone, cell phone charger, and my digital camera, and possibly my CD's and throw them all into my big purse.
All other things can be replaced. Even though my ID and documents can be replaced I would really rather avoid the hassle. I'd like to have my cigarettes so I won't be adding stress as I'm watching my stuff go down in flames.
Sixty seconds is a short time when it comes to grabbing those things, and I would be 'lucky' to be able to have that much time to grab them with no danger to myself.
The Things I Would Like To Do Before I Die
This is a list of things that I would like to do before my physical body decides it's time to do something different.
I would like to have experienced these things, not necessarily in this order:
1. Marriage. Experiencing being in the center of the wedding ceremony, actually.
2. A trip to Rome to see the artwork in the Cathedrals.
3. A trip to China or Taiwan to see the Temples there too.
4. Go skydiving? That one is scary. I still want to try it though. LOL
5. Have a physical store for my shoe business.
6. Have my childrens book published and distributed.
7. Sailed on one of the tall ships.
8. A trip to the Phillippines where I was born. I left there when I was young so I would
like to know what it is like.
9. Ride on a motorcycle. I've been too scared to do that.
10. Owning a house, free and clear.
11. Touch Snow.
It's a pretty simple list. Now it's just a matter of getting to it.
Holidays/Birthdays/Thoughts on Santa and the Easter Bunny
I'm not fond of holidays such as New Years Day or Christmas or Easter. I don't celebrate them in the traditional sense, though I do participate in the gatherings out of respect for friends and family.
Birthdays are the only days that I recognize. However...dude...every day should be celebrated. Our time is sacred. If someone believes in recognizing a day that does not have to do with celebrating the life or works of a person while on earth, then that "someone's" spirit has not experienced that each day is truly as blessed as the next.
No bull, my frustration for holidays is that they are entirely driven by materialism. Not
to mention that all the fricken drive-thru's are closed. As far as I'm concerned holidays
are an excuse for a day off. If people want a paid day off or whatever, the government
should just make "Day-Off Day".
Who really celebrates holidays the way they're 'supposed' to be celebrated? Nobody that I know of. People gather together all stressed out on what kind of food or gifts to bring, how much time they are going to be there, what to wear, how long the drive is...yadda yadda yadda. Now is that a celebration, a chore, or just a day off? My point EXACTLY.
Time to spend with friends and family...that's what every day is for.
Especially the weekends. GO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS ON THE WEEKENDS, PEOPLE. Stop using a
holiday as an excuse to do it, or quit claiming to celebrate a damn holiday when it's just
a get-together or a damn barbeque. I really question whether people truly know how to
celebrate a holiday without thinking that it's just a big get-together with some fixin's,
because it's not!
Back to the subject of drive-thru's. Holiday's stress me out because I have to prepare for them by going to the grocery store to make sure I have food for the day because I don't cook. If I don't get there in time and the grocery store closes then I'm screwed. I Learned that the hard way. So I'm unable to go about a day that's just as good as any other because people have this notion about a particular day being more special than another. Waah. Yes I'm whining. No biggie though, I learned my lesson and holidays aren't going away, so I deal with it.
...Not
to mention people stress me out because they can't think of what gifts to buy another
person. People are ranked by how well we know them and how much we want to spend
on them. They are also ranked by the gift they received from the year before if
they received a gift at all. People lie to their bosses and call out from
work to take a day to go shopping because they are so stressed out about providing a
frivolous gift. Not for the purpose of giving unconditionally, but just so they don't feel
embarrassed. (If the giving was unconditional ranking wouldn't be an issue, now would
it?) Screw that shit.
The thing that pisses me off the most is the lie
that parents tell their kids about non-existant beings such as the Tooth Faerie, the
Easter Bunny and Santa Clause.
Lets get real here. If you think lying to your children and telling them that a person exists that really doesn't is "cute" or "all part of the fun" I think it's sick. What the fuck kind of tradition propagates hypocrisy and lying more than organized religion which is where all of this bull-crap comes from? I don't care if anyone disagrees. If I did I wouldn't be writing this. It's an undeniable truth that telling your kids they exist when they really don't is a flat-out lie, no matter how fun you think it is, because the rest of society does it. It makes the parents liars no matter how anyone tries to justify it. Just keep in mind that when you lie to your children, so shall they speak untruths to you in return, through karmic law. And parents wonder where their kids get it from.
Now imagine your kids' feelings when they find out that something they truly
believed in was a lie. And at the expense of it being, "all part
of the fun". Imagine the parents who manipulate their children
all year with the, "If you're not good Santa's not gonna come"
horse-puckey. Imagine the kids who got a better gift than another kid at school and then
wondering to themselves if they were "good enough" because they didn't get the
exact thing they wanted and someone else did. Or the kid who got something so small
because their parent's couldn't afford something nicer, that he feels he is just barely
"good enough". And the parents continue to let them believe in Santa giving them
the best excuses they can with the best intentions to let them continue to believe. Lie
upon lie upon lie, creating subconscious degradation of a child's esteem (not to
mention the esteem of the parents to provide for their children) based on materialism.
What kind of sick shit is that?
Even more fucking retarded is that if I call it on the carpet and ask a
parent if they feel bad about lying to their kids they say, "It's not lying!"
What the hell dictionary do they use to define what lying is?!!!!!
So now that I'm in preaching mode, lemme just tell you what a holiday is. A holiday is the celebration of life and the contribution that one has made to this earth. It is an acknowledgement of the works that one has done, and moral support for the continuation of seeing their purpose through. A holiday is celebrated with offerings of gifts to support a person on their journey and provide them comfort along the way.
In my experience, people don't celebrate Christmas this way, nor Easter, Thanksgiving, or any other holiday I can think of.
As far as birthdays go, people in this society regard their birthdays
as the least important of holidays. A birthday is the ultimate and personal celebration of
someone's beingness on this earth. Some loathe their birthdays, and some don't even
celebrate them. How ass-backwards is that? Placing themselves as 'less than' on this earth
when every single persons role directly influences what is going on, on a
second-to-second basis. If you wish to live your life believing that your presence on
earth is less important than a paid day off, be my guest and go for it. Not
only will you live believing that way, you will die that way too. If that's fine with
you, it'll be fine with me. Cold hard-fact; it is what it is.
My respect is granted to one who chooses to believe in their purpose and strives to achieve it. Otherwise do not waste my time. I have no time and no patience for those who choose against believing that they are someone who contributes to the harmony of this universe unless they are seeking to change and could use the support. Either way, Happy Birthday.
Undeniably, a traditional holiday is a propagation of manipulation,
lies, stress, and the ranking of people over "the mighty dollar" in the
society that I live in today. When that changes, my views will change.
So, holidays are fun? Yeah, get-together's are fun. If you're not actually celebrating a holiday the way it is meant to be celebrated let's get real and say you're enjoying a day off, and quit lying, you lying bastards!
(Or don't... it's your choice. We all have to live with it,
though.)
The Extent of My Holiday Decorating
The old-schoolers to
my journal
and fans who have read this site fairly thoroughly, know that I am not
Christian, so Christmas for me is exactly this if you would like the view of
what Christmas is to me as a non-Christian:
Simply scroll up to the previous article, and it's laid
out pretty straightforwardly.
Admittedly I fall under the pressure of figuring out what kind of gifts to buy
for certain people. Naturally if gifts are going to be given for any occasion
(not just Christmas), I would like them to project that they are important and
well thought of and that not just anything will do for the people I care for. Of
course I want them to have something that will be put to good use and not just
sit in a closet or be on a list to go in the future garage sale pile.
On decorating, I haven't personally ever decorated for Christmas for myself. I
live alone, I'm not Christian, I don't celebrate Christmas in the traditional
sense, so I don't see reason to deck the halls with boughs of holly. (Fa la
la...) I was telling my friend Marcus about me decorating earlier... He asked,
"why don't you do some non-Christian [decorating] stuff"? I said," I do. It's
called not decorating".
When I lived with my ex for four years who claimed to be 'spiritual' and not
Christian yet bought XMas trees, ornaments, and did XMas lights outside of the
house, I'd help, but really the items have no significance except that they're a
pain in the ass to put up, and a mess and another pain in the ass to take down.
What I've done to appease people's "panic" over me not having my home decorated
when they come over is; I buy a little plastic 10 inch decorated tree table
centerpiece, and sit it on my coffee table and put wrapped gifts underneath the
coffee table. It's usable the next year. Voila.
Last year I didn't get one. I don't know what happened to my old one because I
think the last time I decorated with even the 10 inch plastic tree was back in
1994? What I had on my coffee table last year was a centerpiece given to me by a
friend --it was a basket of evergreen around a red candle. It was pretty so I
used that.
This year, I am spending XMas with Sir Kelly, my personal hero. Lucky for me he
has a little plastic tree centerpiece. It will go on a table and wrapped gifts
will go underneath it. (Sounds familiar!)
It won't get much better than this, people: here's a pic of the decorating job
I've done so far taken at Sir Kelly's place since I'm spending Xmas at his place
this year.
More gifts will be placed on top of, and
underneath the table as they arrive and are wrapped.
Also, the little plastic tree which I thought was about 10" tall is quite a bit
less, methinks.
I've been asked several times about the pie in this picture. No it is not real. It is a life-sized decorative apple pie candle.
11/25/03
Porkchop and Other Stuff That Makes Me Sick
This is no secret to my friends. I hate porkchop. "Hate" is a
strong word. Nevertheless, I still hate porkchop. "Why?", you ask? Because
growing up in my house we must have had porkchop at least once a week. Or at least it
seemed like it. After years and years of enduring having to eat porkchop with white
rice and white gravy I decided I would put an end to it. No more porkchop for Hev. I was
on strike.
I posted a note on the freezer for when one of my parents were going to go
in to defrost what we were going to have for dinner. It stated "I do not like
porkchop". Going over as well as it did, it became a battle of "either
eat what we cook or starve". (At the time I would rather have starved). For a time my
parents tried to work with me on it avoiding cooking porkchop. The simple fact was, there
was no getting around it. My dad's porkchop fetish overwhelmed the other stuff that could
be cooked in the house, whereby, I ate macaroni and cheese, made a sandwich, or nuked
something else in the microwave.
After I moved out of my parent's place and was out on my own, porkchop
still haunted me. I would call them once a month or so and everytime I called them
on the phone in the evening they would be having porkchop for dinner. If my parents called
me and invited me over for dinner they, by some strange coincidence, had planned that
evening to cook porkchop.I declined coming over for dinner in that case. In fact, once I
had called my dad after not being in touch with them for two months because of my lazy
refusal to make phone calls once in a while, that night he was having porkchop and said he
hadn't had porkchop in two months, and he had just bought x amount of pounds of it to last
a while, too.
Now what the
hell kind of coincidence is that? If this alone is any indication of how much we ate
porkchop at my place growing up, you know why I refuse to eat it. I have other
porkchop stories but I've said the word porkchop in one too many sentences already.
Other things that make me sick are; cornbread, black-eyed peas, beans like
kidney beans and lima beans, brown beans, lentil beans, red beans and navy beans. Beans
make me sick, I hate them.
I don't even like them in my chili.
What the hell do they make meatless chili for when they should be making it beanless? In
fact, beanless chili is always sold out. Maybe that should be a clue on how many people
hate beans. I'll get my protein from cookies or soda or something.
Why I Don’t Cook (and other domestic skills)
This is a copy of an article I wrote in another
section on why I don't cook.
I don't cook. When you see the pictures below you will know exactly why.
Other than being too lazy to do dishes, I have a legitimate reason; I was trying to
be the domestic girlfriend and almost poisoned the poor guy that ate my cooking.
(on more than one occasion).
I don't recommend that anyone eat my cooking. Unless of course, it's something that I've
cooked successfully in the past, which isn't much.
This sad image is a plate of buttered
waffles and eggs. Does it look like waffles and eggs to you? If it does I wouldn't eat
your cooking either.
This
breakfast was cooked one day at about 4 in the morning. I had a craving for eggs, so I
thought I'd give it a shot and cook some fried eggs or something. When I finished I took a
picture with my webcam to show my friends that I actually got behind the damned stove for
a change. Glad I did that, now that I have this site and can tell the world that if
they're with me, they're gonna get poisoned if I cook. When I told my friends that I
cooked, I think they were ready to keel over just from the very mention of it.
Here's yet another pathetic example of my cooking:
This one wasn't so bad. I have the spaghetti from when I cooked it over a
year ago immortalized in my refrigerator to this day.
Of course, it doesn't look like it does in the picture anymore.
Besides having the fear of poisoning someone with my lack of cooking skills, it really makes no sense for me to cook for one person. I live alone and it takes 20 minutes to cook a meal, 10 minutes or so to clean it up, and about 10 minutes to eat. 30 minutes worth of work for 10 minutes worth of eating doesn't compute with me. And I generally don't eat left-overs, so the suggestion of me making enough for two or three nights doesn't fly. Besides, if my cooking was gross the first night, I wouldn't subject myself to eating it another two nights in a row. Running to the drive-thru takes me about 10 minutes. Cleaning up the mess takes 2 minutes or less. Nuking a corndog or Cup-O-Noodles® takes 3 minutes with even less clean-up time. A much better equation.
Paranoia About Buying Batteries
I was having a conversation with my friend, Jilly, on the
phone about batteries. Batteries for what? Namely my camera and my clock in the
kitchen, as well as my pager.
For starters, the clock in my kitchen has been out of batteries for over 3
months. I'd even venture to say that it's even been 4 or 5 months.My digital
camera is now out of batteries. My pager has been out of batteries for about 8
months now.
I
have a fear of purchasing batteries. Yes, you read that correctly. I have this
paranoid fear of purchasing batteries at the grocery store. Especially AA and D
batteries.
What the hell is that all about? What's the big deal?
Well, on TV and movies and stuff like that I have heard so many jokes about
batteries for vibrators and crap like that, it has caused me to have this
complex about buying batteries in a grocery store where it could be assumed that
they are being used for a vibrator or some other kind of kinky stuff that I
don't even own, or that I'm not in to.
Anyway. I would rather pay 2 more dollars over at Circuit City or Office Depot
to get batteries than to get them at a pharmacy or the grocery store. Weird,
huh?
The
other day I REALLYYYYYYYYYYY needed batteries for my camera and I was at the
grocery store. I had to buy a turkey baster for my fish tank to feed my fish.
All I went to the store for was the turkey baster, and considered the batteries
until I got to the counter.
Turkey baster and batteries.....hmmmmmmm...well...no I didn't buy the batteries
as usual.
Strange complex to have. Anyhooo...I'm making a mental note that I need to run
to Circuit City and get batteries. LOL.
I'll even be shallow enough to say that if anyone out there who reads this that
sees me in person doesn't have this same fear, I need AA batteries and 4 AA
Lithium batteries for my digital camera. LMAO.
11/27/02
There was, and probably still is, a big ol' controversy about
the look of Barbie; her total look, her clothing fashions; what the implication
of having a pretty, well-endowed, small-waisted, tall, blonde, blue-eyed doll
can do to a young girl's psyche about what 'pretty' or 'attractive' is, and
isn't. While the argument has some points of validity to me, surely it
bothers me a helluva lot less than what the currently-marketed dolls I've
been seeing over the course of the year portrays.
Sorry if this offends anyone. For the record, as an adult I
personally think the dolls are somewhat cute. [If I were ever a parent] Would I
as a parent put this doll in the hands of an 8 year old girl? Oh HELLLLLLLL
no! I wouldn't even want my 6 year old god-daughter/niece toting one of
these around in her doll collection. And if my kid even thought it would be 'stylin'
to put 10 lbs of make-up on and dress like a hood-rat hoochie-ho, she'd better
be prepared to gimme a cut for rent on what she makes from presenting herself
like a total slut, because she'd be sure to pull in some business that way by
the influence of something like this.
This
is a picture of one of the dolls. Known popularly as one of the many "Bratz"
dolls available on the market. If you were able to see the picture any bigger (I
had to size it down), you'd get a look at how much make-up she's got packed on
her eyes, as well as the completely overblown, overdrawn, brightly colored
lipstick she's wearing. She is also wearing what would equate to be 6 inch
chunky platform shoes. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of role-playing
besides shopping that would go on with little girls while playing with these
dolls. What aspirations would a kid give to these action figures' characters
while playing? Shop-a-holic? Gold-digger? Pimp-and-Ho? Drama Queen with an
attitude? Way to teach the youth, people...way to go.
Next is this one...
(right)
Still another one over-done with make up, and check out the lipstick on THIS
little ho! ...at least those are the words that come to mind from the standpoint
of what a male might think if he were to see a girl dressed up like this walking
around in a public mall or something. Followed by thoughts of "The Three F's",
if you know what I mean. If you saw a girl dressed like this with makeup packed
on that thick, wearing a top with a hem that barely goes beneath the cup-line,
would anything in the realm of "respectable" cross your mind? Heh...
Now this next picture (left) is of one of the boy dolls from this collection.
I'll repeat...(and take a good look) this is a boy doll. Isn't he beautiful?
Pretty? Now all we need is for boys who observe girls playing with these dolls
to absorb that being a pretty-looking boy is the way to be cool, popular, or
have chick friends. If you cover the body and just look at the face does it look
like a boy doll to you? Not to me.
And wtf is this???? These are the accessories for the boy doll:
Where I have the pointer on the picture is a picture of...?? I don't know.
That's why I'm asking. Is it a purse? I also down-sized this picture, so I'll
tell you what the little white spot in the center of the item in question is;
it's an icon of a stick-figure male. In contrast to a stick-figure woman
[wearing a dress] that you would see on public restroom doors to make a
discernment. So what exactly is the purpose of the male stick-figure icon? To
distinguish that the doll is male or that the item is supposed to go with the
boy doll? Because he's so pretty that you can get the dolls' genders or their
purses confused? Beh...and this...
This is a makeover doll head that you are supposed to put makeup on to practice
or play with. The practice head pictured here is how the head starts out
'clean'. You put makeup on over that. HOW THE HELL MUCH MORE MAKE UP DOES SHE
NEED????
Like I said, some of them are cute and all, but geez-o-man....not to put in the
hands of a kid who will play with them on a regular basis. They'll want more of
them, and additional accessories, too. Because of this I have a closing argument
in favor of Barbie and I never thought it would come to this. LOL. At least
Barbie has some class. Comparitively to these dolls, anyway. The role-play with
a Barbie can be anything, just as with these dolls, but I'd imagine that since
Barbie can be a doctor, equestrian, astronaut...there is at least some
implication and direction with which the kids can play and have a sense of a way
to "be", and develop some knowledge about professional skills in the meantime. I
mean, to play "Astronaut Barbie" would mean kids are practicing their knowledge
about science and space, right? WTF do these Bratz dolls do?
Anyway...I had to rant about that. I fail to understand what is going on in the
minds of people when they buy this stuff for a small kid solely because it looks
cute. There's no fore-thought on what can be productively learned from playing
with them, or even how to play in a way that would expand thinking about a way
to "be", except for maybe a dramatic fashion queen, I imagine. It's just one
more thing to shove into a kid's hand to keep them occupied.
12/04/03
If I were told I could have one last meal before I deteriorated to the point of physical death or could not feed myself or eat food in a normal fashion, this is what I would choose as my last meal.
1. Salad with calamata olives, LOTS of feta and gorgonzola cheese, crab, shrimp, mini croutons, sun dried tomatoes, bacon bits, artichoke or palm hearts, and a vinaigrette dressing. (my stomach is growling).
2. Whatever the best tasting champagne out there is...that's what I want. And no, it's not Dom Perignon.
3. Fresh, warm, French baguette with butter and maybe some dipping oil or hummus, maybe topped with fresh diced tomatoes.
4. Authentic gumbo for my soup with extra okra. (Drooling now...
) A side
of veggies like squash, eggplant, asparagus, and more okra.
5. Entree of 2 or 3 lobster tails soaked in butter with a New York strip steak cooked medium, topped with mushrooms that were cooked in a cabernet sauce. A baked potato with garlic flavoring infused, topped with cheese, chives, bacon bits and sour cream.
6. A dessert cake with pralines, almond flakes, chocolate, and french vanilla. Topped
with light strawberry and maybe some fudge. (ok i'm really seriously drooling now.
)
7. My after dinner liqueur would have to be Godiva Chocolate.
::RUNNING to get something to eat now:::
My biggest mentor was one of my bosses, Barbara.
She taught me about diplomacy and politics within business mostly. The thing that I
love most about her was her approach to being fair, and her approach to upholding
responsibility, and doing what you say you are going to do and not just blowing hot air.
She taught
me about being prepared for the unexpected, such as the case of surprise corporate visits,
knowing what is going on around you at all times, without losing focus for the plan.
Her philosophies also brought to light to 'grow' the staff's knowledge to eventually
move them higher in the ranks, and also to support them in their endeavors whether they
were to eventually leave the company if they ended up finding something better. Her
mentality was about growth, which matches very closely to what I believe about life.
I attribute learning mathematics at a higher level to her showing me how to read all of the financials from the business. She also taught me that working hard and playing hard afterwards is a great way to relieve stress and not get caught up in "living to work", but "working to live".
Her success, and how she made a name for herself in the industry played a key role for me at how to handle situations, both in business, and outside of business; being a pace-setter.
I mentor a 16 year old girl named Mary. I met her when she was 14. Mary and I have
conversations about philosophies of living life, and issues about conflict/resolution and
how to know for herself the things that she feels are right and wrong, and not necessarily
what others tell her those things are. I think of Mary as my 'adopted' daughter, and love
her like she would be my own. The relationship that I have created with her has been an
awesome journey, and a huge responsibility. All of a sudden I feel the weight of a young
impressionable person thirsty for knowledge at my side, and it's odd to find myself in
that position, since I do not have children. Although, it is pretty cool to have a little
minion running around. I love my Marykins!
What I Would Change About My Life
I am a firm believer that anyone that says they wouldn't change anything about
their life, has no regrets, which is, in my opinion, probably one of the most successful
achievements someone can have in their lives. For someone to say they wouldn't change
anything about their life, and can say for themselves that they do have regrets,
is hypocritical to me. How can you regret something when regret is based on wishing
something were different? Or that something could have changed?
Anyhow, what my highest truth speaks to me is that I regret
ever falling in love. The thing that I would change about myself is to not fall in love
with someone the way I love myself, and boy do I really really love myself! The reason I would like to change it is because my experience with love has been
a strange experience. My relationships have all ended on good terms, and were ended
because of the issue of commitment. As nice as it can be to be in love with someone,
I do not believe that monogamy exists as a natural state of human will.
Although I have always been monogamous in my relationships and have had no desire to go outside of my relationships at the time; the fact that the grass looks greener on the other side; there is always something out there better; the personal and spiritual growth factor between two people over many years is a slower process...those factors lead me to question why settling with one person for the rest of my life is 'right'. Too many people have affairs or have been in a position where they felt they have wanted to. It doesn't sit well with me.
I've heard the saying many a times; "It is better
to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". For me, it's a
crock of bullshit.
Loving and losing is a cruel tease.
A fucked-up mentality to live by, and frankly, I'd prefer to not have an experience and to
keep its greatness fresh and pristine in my mind than to be disappointed with false hope,
or a false definition of what the 'parameters' of being in love with someone is.
I'd change not wanting to know what it was. I'd change that I'd never want to be in love with another man again, no matter how nice they are. Loving as a friend is fine.
That's what I would change.
When I'm totally stressed out there are three things that I do.
I usually eat something to keep me from smoking a whole pack of cigarettes
and stressing out even
more, and I like to go window shopping. Window shopping mostly. It gets me out of the
house, and it gives me a chance to take a walk and look at things in a relaxed atmosphere,
while keeping up with the latest trends.
The third thing I do is usually vent it to someone online who is kind enough to
listen and agree.
Crying/Hurt Feelings
My feelings aren't hurt too easily. I let yes be yes and no be no for the most part. The thing that does strike my 'hurt feelings' chord is the feeling of being lied to. Another thing that hurts my feelings is not receiving credit for something that I spent a lot of hours on.
When I do get hurt, I generally don't whine or cry about it. I let the person that hurt me know that my feelings were hurt and go from there.
As a youth, I was once told something by someone close to
me that changed me for many years. I was in tears over something that hurt me and I was
told not to cry because it made me ugly and then I had a mirror shoved on front of my
face. From that moment, for many, many years, when I cried it would always be alone. And
when I did cry, I always felt it was wrong and that it was ugly.
I don't know what changed that thought pattern in my mind over time. Something tells me that it was my best friend, Jaime, who didn't care if I cried and showed me that it was okay and that crying was beautiful if it was caused by something that affected my heart.
I used to argue with my mother so much as a teenager that I really didn't give a damn about how my words made her feel until one day I saw her cry. The lesson in that was like a ton of bricks falling on to me about respect for others feelings. The same for when I saw my dad cry. (I'm gonna cry just thinking about this). I learned that to appreciate the strengths of a person, one must also be able to see their sensitivities.
I enjoy a good cry. I, cry at movies or because of a beautiful song or a poem or something I'm very passionate about. It seems to relate depth to me.
As an adult, I have seen men cry during movies and in relationships and discussions of the heart. For me it is one of the best ways to understand what goes on in a persons heart to know what it is that touches them so much that it brings them to tears. The power of words never ceases to amaze me.